Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
