I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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