so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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