I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
