Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
