Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
