idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
