I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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