I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
