We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I want a musical about memes.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
