On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
