hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Randomize
