why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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