So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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