Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
