I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
its liver damage thursday
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
