I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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