I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Mom said you looked used
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
