but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
