So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
