just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
