Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
