he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
