you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Alive.
So much puke
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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