another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
