You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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