i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
