just tell him i said nine months
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
