The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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