Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
