i just sold back the books i vomitted on
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
