i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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