Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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