I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
