that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
