Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
