how can u be prego again
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
