I wanna passion pit in your ass
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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