glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I didn't notice because vodka
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
