is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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