Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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