What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
There's even glitter on my cock...
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