First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
