Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
