Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
