Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i came on her dog
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
