on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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