That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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