just come out here and I will go home with you...
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
