Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I look better un-naked...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
