If i come over, it means nothing
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
