I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
